Leadership.... and a special message for my netball girls!

Fullness was this past weekend. dont really want to talk about that in this blog, except for this one bit from it. this is the reason why i am writing this blog! We received prayer on Sunday, if we wanted it and someone prayed over me. they are a prophet and can hear from the Lord and one of the things she told me is that God has called me to be like Deborah. thats pretty sweet.

if u dont know who Deborah was, u can find her in the old testament in Judges ( 4 or 5) and she was a prophetess and a judge. she was an amazing leader!!!! so that was pretty cool and then it made me think of some other words that i have been given through the year. someone once told me i am like Simon Peter. the whole 'rock' anointing and he to was an a amazing leader. and then most recently i got told i was a young leader like Timothy.

last night i only realised that these all connect in a way. they were all leaders and they were all amazing leaders. its cool, cuz i fully believe God is trying to tell me i have a gift of leadership and there seems to be an anointing on my life. and that is pretty cool i reckon. but i think its a matter of stepping into my giftings and being open and willing to whatever God wants to do with my giftings and in my life.


and finally, my netball girls really want something on my blog to do with them. they are such great girls. i coached them last year to a premiership win!!!!!!! woo!!!! they are soooo amazing and they are beautiful. i miss them alot. so Sarah, Mina, Courtney, Beth, Mags, Kirsty, Claire, Erin and, Rebecca i love you all and i miss you soooo much. keep out of trouble and dont give Mel too much grief this year!!!!!!

Thoughts, thoughts and more thoughts

It's 1am. i sit here having just finished cleaning my room cuz my beautiful roommate is coming home. but i cant stop thinking about tonight. it was such a crazy intense night. tonight showed me alot of things and it was good. Knee Drill was great!! Olivia gave a word of correction about how there is unconfessed sin in 614, so we spent some time in prayer and spent some time confessing to people. i confessed my sin to Jenea. the one i had to confess was lack of love. lack of love for my session mainly. and i hated confessing it and i hate the fact that this is a problem for me, cuz i dont want it to be. the people in my session are all amazing and all unique and all beautiful people. but even after i confessed to Jenea and she prayed for me, i still felt horrible. so i went and sat over in a corner and just cried alot. then Lynn, one of my session mates came over and i talked to her. i knew i had to confess bitterness to someone that i loved alot. its funny cuz this person doesnt come to knee drill too often and this is the first time in awhile they were there, so it was good.

so i went over to this person and confessed the bitterness and resentment i had felt towards her for awhile now and i cried the whole 20 mins i was talking to her. not just cuz of what i had to confess, but just talking to her made me realise something.

these last 3 months have been the crappiest, hardest, most growing months of my whole life and its just sucked sooo bad to have to live them. it started with my friend Denneil passing away, then Holly had to go home and just lots of feelings of rejection, lonliness and things like impatience, frustration and lots of tears were all part of my 3 months. i was sooo hard to live with, i feel kinda sorry for my session mates who had to walk through this time of life with me. but when sooo much change happened and all this stuff happened, God was the only thing i could rely on. it took me a little while to actually learn this lesson, but this is what God wanted to teach me. and i had to learn it, the hard way. if i could go back and change anything, i dont think i would.... well Denneil still being alive would be nice, but i probably wouldnt even change that. everything that has happened over this yr, esp the past 3 months was hard and crap, but i grew... ALOT. so i wouldnt change any of it. so confessing and talking to my friend tonight was sooo good and made me realise alot of stuff. and i received some more joy back into my life, so thats cool.

this blog is a bit all over the place, but i hope it makes sense.

Things that make me angry!

there are a few things that are making me angry this week.... i believe its angry in a good way. first thing is injustices. the injustice of our broken elevator and the landlords total lack of care for the residents.... argh that annoys me. but he has soooo lost the case and he doesnt even know it. so that makes me happy.

domestic violence makes me angry. why cant men and women just have respect and love for each other? wat would drive a husband/boyfriend to beat up his other half? i dont get it. i am volunteering at Kate Booth House for the summer, which is a refuge for women who are running from domestic violence with their kids. its truly a refuge. i am not even allowed to tell ppl where it is, its that secret. i went there tonight for orientation and i am excited!! but domestic violence makes me angry!

young men ( teenagers) trash talking women. i was on the bus tonight and these 2 guys across from me were fully trash talking this chick they know and it made me angry. i swear smoke was coming out of my ears. they just thought they were sooooo cool trash talking this chick. argh made me sooo angry i wanted to just say something to them, but i didnt.

people just seem to have no respect these days and it makes me angry. we are supposed to imitate Christ, but humans suck at it. it makes me wanna cry.

Thanks Denise!

Ok so i was looking at Denise's blog and this looked really fun. i hesitated doing it cuz my previous post i did yesterday and i really like it and want everyone to read that one too, not just this one. i am a Hillsong Junkie though, so it might come out with a little too much hillsong on it... ah well....

So, here's how it works:1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button.
This is my life as a movie soundtrack...

Opening Credits: Where is the Love?- Black Eyed Peas

Birth: There's gotta be more to life- Stacey Orrico ( thats just weird!!!)

Growing Up: Behind these Hazel Eyes- Kelly Clarkson

Waking Up: There is Nothing like your love- Hillsong United

First Day At School: Let it Rain- Michael W Smith soundtrack

Bad Experience: Stained Glass Masquerade- Casting Crowns

Falling In Love: Heart of Worship- Michael W Smith

Breaking Up: Crazy- Simple Plan

1st date: Better is One Day- Dont know who is singing it.

Prom: My Saviour- Krystal Meyers

Chase Scene: Don't Lie- Black Eyed Peas

Fight Scene: Set me Free-Planetshakers

Life's OK: Shout Unto God- Hillsong United

Driving: Salvation is Here- Hillsong United

Flashback: Set me Free- Casting Crowns

Loss of A Friend: He is Exalted- Don't know who ( how appropriate!)

Concert of a lifetime: For all you've done- Planetshakers ( havent ever listened to this song!)

Getting Back Together: Amazing Grace- dont know who by

Graduation: Awesome God- it's on Hillsong United by don't know who originally sang it.

Wedding: God is great- Hillsong ( told u i have alot of hillsong!)

Honeymoon: Majesty- not sure who by though

Birth of Child: Majesty- Planetshakers ( different one to the above Majesty)

Final Battle: Jesus your Everything- Planetshakers

Death Scene: Beautiful- Christina Aguilera

Funeral Song: The Way to Begin- Krystal Meyers

End Credits: Beautiful- Bethany Dillon

Bloopers: Breakaway- Kelly Clarkson

Deleted Scenes: One Desire- Hillsong

he he very very funny stuff.... u guys should try it!

Its all about Love this week!

Isnt this picture soooo cute! God has shown me alot this week about love. not only love in my life right now, but how much i have grown to see and understand the love of God over the past 8 months!!

When i came to War College, i thought i understood the love of God and how much he really loved me, but i didnt. when i came to war college, i realised that Jesus and I were only really acquaintances. i knew that he loved me, but didnt really KNOW. well over the past 8 months, Jesus has taken me to new levels in love. the next level that we went to was being friends. he showed me that he loved me and i understood it, but didnt really embrace it or place too much emphasise on it. i still didnt have any love for myself. his love for me didnt change the love i had for myself. so after awhile, the next level he took me to in his love is best friends. he was showing me that he has this unconditional love for me and it was really beautiful. i could hang out with him and he would just encourage me and his love started making a difference on how i saw myself.

for the past few months, he was showing me his love as a daddy. he loved his little girl with all his heart and he made me feel beautiful. he showed me that there was nothing i could do that would make him love me any less. he made me feel special, like a daddy is supposed to do and he really touched my heart. well since Monday, he has been showing me how he loves me like a lover and desires intimacy with him. all year i have never been interested in reading Song of Songs but this week i have been meditating on Chapter 2.... its sooo special and he wants intimacy with me. so its a pretty huge thing that i have grown in and its soooo beautiful. I just love Jesus sooooo much and desire more and more intimacy with him!!

Song of Songs 2:16 says: My lover is mine and I am his; he browses among the lilies.

Praise the Lord, I AM HIS AND HE WANTS ME!

Saturday

oh man fun fun fun times.... it sucks that not our whole session could be there for our outing to Denny's, but we did pretty good with 9 of us there. soooo much fun. it was becky's last saturday before she leaves, so we thought we would head out to lunch. i thought i would just post some photos and that can tell some stories.

so I have come to the conclusion that a) our session looks just plain hot in that first photo

b) i have a HUGE mouth

c) the boys r just plain weird

d) the girls r sooooo pretty!

but it was the best time ever. it was just sooo good to bond with the session and just have a time where we r just having fun together and not having to do anything War College!! as for becky leaving, its really sad. i am gonna miss her soooo much. i love her like she is my sister. so it will be hard to see her go, but i know she will be back... well for 2 weeks in August! i love you becky!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

dont u hate it when u write a blog and then it disappears. that just happened to me with this blog, so i will start again.

Today has been a good day. we had holy space this morning and despite the fact that most of us dont like holy space, this one was a good one. we spent the whole time just encouraging one another and building each other up. then we had a discipleship party at Starbucks because it was our last one together cuz Becky is leaving next week. that was fun.

then i was waiting for the bus to come to teen cell and as i was hopping on the bus, some of the kids that come to Mac school program hopped on the bus with me. these kids need alot of love and while i was trying to love on these kids, they were calling my friends in the Downtown Eastside junkies and saying that, that part of town is a zoo. it made me really sad and upset for my friends and its hard when u get frustrated while trying to show patience and love to these kids but they r downing my friends. i eventually just told them to show respect and that these people are real people too and to not call them that. then they just laughed at me. *sigh* the joys of working with troubled kids.