Life

I dont even know what to title this blog. i have been putting off blogging cuz i can think of a bajillion things to blog about, but i decided to blog what is on my heart right now. I just had my quiet time with God for the day, something that has been somewhat lacking since i have been home. been caught up in busyness, but now that i am working, i can get into a routine of doing my devos.

I thought being home would be soooo much easier than being in Vancouver, but in some ways it is easier, but then in other ways, it is harder. Now that i have finished War College, i have to decide what i am going to do.... especially with the new year coming up (that is the start of everything in Aust for those who dont know that). But i have been avoiding the topic at all costs. Ever since i have been back, EVERY SINGLE PERSON i have had a decent conversation with has asked me what am i going to do now. and i dont know. and it put extra stress on me when people would ask that. like i need to know what i am doing soon or else i will have a yr of nothingness. so due to that stress, i havent talked to God at all about it. in fact, i havent talked to God about too much. And now i sit here in tears feeling like a bit of an idiot for not asking what he wants. i was reading 1 Samuel 9 today and Samuel has to pick a king for Israel. God gave them warnings about having a king and what would happen, but they didnt listen and said they wanted a king. and EVEN after that, God goes along with it, tells Samuel who to appoint as the king. God doesnt force us to do things, he gives us a choice. and i chose the wrong thing this time. i chose to ignore him and not ask for his input.

I know i want to study next yr, but the thought of being a poor student freaks me out. i hate it. and the agony over what to do study wise has stressed me out even more, but today i realised why. its cuz i have felt like i should be pushing for my career choice straight away, like i need to go study to be a youth worker and be employed as a youth worker ASAP. but i dont want to do that. and i felt pressure to do that. as much as i want to be a youth worker, i wanna grow more and do more ministry stuff at the church and learn more about my gifts and just stuff like that.

So i made a decision today.... i am going to put off my dream as a youth worker another year and i am going to go to college. Peter, my officer showed me a brochure for Planetshakers leadership college a few weeks ago and I think i wanna do it. if u wanna check out their website, go to http://www.pscbrisbane.com/site/default.cfm.

so thats me today... sorry its super long!