Satan is an idiot and i am so sick of his deception!

so being back is really great. i am still learning a bunch and God is speaking, its great! but Satan is always there to try to mess things up. and as usual, i have had a run in with him again and broken a lie off that he was telling me... what is the lie you ask?

well ever since i got back, i have been really conscience of how people see me. and Satan being the idiot he is has fed me this lie that people still look at me the same as when i left for the War College. and i dont want to be seen like that. i feel like i am constantly in another person's shadow and arent valued as highly as this person. so its been hard. but needless to say, that was all a load of crap and God showed me that today, which was awesome. and if people do see me like that, then they are gonna be really surprised when i rise up above who they think i am and thats their issue to deal with, not mine. my issue is to realise that i am valuable and people see me as valuable. and God showed me that people see me as a young woman now, through someone just saying to someone else today "she isnt a girl, she is a lovely young woman".

My good friend Denise told me this week that the way i am going to use my gifts effectively for the church body is to just be confident with them and dont be afraid to use them when u need to. that was a helpful word, cuz my gifts are kinda hard sometimes. and today in church, i got 2 words. 1 for someone and 1 for another person. these people have poured into my life, but today God called me to pour into theirs. its kinda scary but i obeyed cuz God called me. and i got blessed and they got blessed.

needless to say, church was amazing this morning!!!!!

Jesus, Let me sit at your feet

I have had such a rough week this week. alot of things have factored into why i have and some of them i can control and some of them i cant. i can control how i react and act though. Today has been a good day, but the rest of the week has been a struggle. and thats especially in the devotions area. have been having trouble doing them. tonight i decided no matter what, i was gonna do it.... and this song came on the CD i was playing and its a beautiful, simple song. and what makes it better, is its a song my extremely good friend wrote and sang. its where i am right now... these are the words....

Jesus, Let me sit at your feet
Jesus, Let me sit at your feet

Let me wash your holy, precious feet
With my broken anguish tears
Let me come to you with all my pain
And simply offer you my life again.

Jesus, Let me sit at your feet.
Jesus, Let me sit at your feet.

absolutely beautiful song.... tonight i danced, i wrote a psalm, i cried and i drew a picture totally around this song. this is where i am at. i want to sit at Jesus' feet, but there are obstacles. busyness, laziness, exhaustion, confusion, the list goes on. but i want to, i REALLY want to. so i made myself tonight. i didnt pick up the word, cuz i needed to focus on Jesus for awhile without feeling the need to read. so i just sat and enjoyed Jesus. he is so great. i cant believe i let things of this world, stupid things come in and distract me.

and thank you to the person that wrote this beautiful song.... straight from the heart and definitely a song sent from God. I love you!

8 random things!

I've been tagged by Bec Head to complete this challenge so here goes...Rules for this 8 interesting things post:* Each player must post these rules to begin.* Each player starts with eight random facts or habits about themselves.* People who get tagged must blog about their eight things and post these rules.* At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. oh by the way BEC, i just knew u were gonna put my name at the end of yours, so thanks!

1) Did you know when i was about 4, i was running through the house looking for mum.... must have been running like a bull with my head down cuz i split my head open right down the middle cuz i ran into the corner of the wall. it hurt heaps. but i was soooo good when they were putting stitches in that i got 2 minties and 3 jelly beans!!!!!

2) I have an extremely bad habit of biting my fingernails.... you will see me do it the most when i am nervous or anxious. most of the time, on grand final day for netball, i will have no nails cuz i am soooo nervous or anxious.

3) I love netball!!!!! not only do i love playing, but i LOVE coaching. especially my little girls. i call them my little girls, but they arent really that little. currently the team i am up for coaching for summer season, they are like 15!!!! so they arent too little, but they have been my favourite team to coach so far and i absolutely love them to pieces!!!! I also dont mind umpiring that much. i love the power that comes with it. if someone is giving u crap on the court, u can tell em where to go.... its great!!!!

4) I did one year of uni in 2005.... alot of people dont know that cuz i am only 19 and they wonder where i could have fit it in cuz i went to Canada last yr.

5) I used to play backyard cricket and football with my brothers. i would rather have done that than play with my barbies. But i was such a girl, that when my brothers got me out when i was batting in cricket, i would chuck the BIGGEST tantrum. and alot of the time i would ref the rugby league games and when my brother Jason would do something super bad to Paul, i would call a penalty to Paul, cuz thats who i wanted to have the ball, but if you know league, whoever gets the penalty, loses the ball. i didnt know that!

6) I have a HUGE heart for my youth group girls. One day just before i went to Canada last yr, Jesse and I went and bought all this food and assembled it in a paper bag for all of our youth group kids and took them lunch at school... it was sooo much fun!

7) I almost got suspended at school once! My Maths teacher told my yr 8 buddy people to watch out for me and jokingly i said oh u better watch out for him. needless to say, he told the Dean of Students and i got yelled at for disrespecting my teacher. stupid teacher!!!!

8) I have an amazing wonderful boyfriend who loves me for me and thats soooo important to me. He respects me soo much and if anyone tried to do anything to hurt me, he would go after them!!! and i would love it if all girls out there just didnt date these loser guys out there, but waited for someone who loves them exactly the way they are and doesnt treat them like crap!


ok soo 8 people... i dont even think 8 people read my blog, but i will say: Denise, Alberta, Carlye, Caitlyn, Meghan, Becky, Matt E, and Steph!!!! ok now do it!

Life

I dont even know what to title this blog. i have been putting off blogging cuz i can think of a bajillion things to blog about, but i decided to blog what is on my heart right now. I just had my quiet time with God for the day, something that has been somewhat lacking since i have been home. been caught up in busyness, but now that i am working, i can get into a routine of doing my devos.

I thought being home would be soooo much easier than being in Vancouver, but in some ways it is easier, but then in other ways, it is harder. Now that i have finished War College, i have to decide what i am going to do.... especially with the new year coming up (that is the start of everything in Aust for those who dont know that). But i have been avoiding the topic at all costs. Ever since i have been back, EVERY SINGLE PERSON i have had a decent conversation with has asked me what am i going to do now. and i dont know. and it put extra stress on me when people would ask that. like i need to know what i am doing soon or else i will have a yr of nothingness. so due to that stress, i havent talked to God at all about it. in fact, i havent talked to God about too much. And now i sit here in tears feeling like a bit of an idiot for not asking what he wants. i was reading 1 Samuel 9 today and Samuel has to pick a king for Israel. God gave them warnings about having a king and what would happen, but they didnt listen and said they wanted a king. and EVEN after that, God goes along with it, tells Samuel who to appoint as the king. God doesnt force us to do things, he gives us a choice. and i chose the wrong thing this time. i chose to ignore him and not ask for his input.

I know i want to study next yr, but the thought of being a poor student freaks me out. i hate it. and the agony over what to do study wise has stressed me out even more, but today i realised why. its cuz i have felt like i should be pushing for my career choice straight away, like i need to go study to be a youth worker and be employed as a youth worker ASAP. but i dont want to do that. and i felt pressure to do that. as much as i want to be a youth worker, i wanna grow more and do more ministry stuff at the church and learn more about my gifts and just stuff like that.

So i made a decision today.... i am going to put off my dream as a youth worker another year and i am going to go to college. Peter, my officer showed me a brochure for Planetshakers leadership college a few weeks ago and I think i wanna do it. if u wanna check out their website, go to http://www.pscbrisbane.com/site/default.cfm.

so thats me today... sorry its super long!

Back Home!

Well i feel extremely settled. Some things havent changed here and some people havent changed, but heaps of things have changed and people have changed. i went to church on sunday and church has changed alot. One really cool thing i noticed is my church is packed full of people. another cool thing is that my Officer Peter was preaching and he isnt too afraid of being honest and he is somewhat blunt, but he does it in a loving way. its really cool.

i think maybe the negativity of some people around me (some of my extended family) has made me realise i am home and some people havent changed. its funny cuz i have been called some hurtful names in the past couple days, but u know what! i dont really care.... i just shake it off and remember how my father in heaven sees me!

i played netball tonight... hmm.... that was interesting. the team was really rough and if i moved too fast around certain players, i would have gotten injured. i played pretty below average! well for me anyway! but i gave myself a grace game. basketball has hindered me a bit cuz i go up to get the ball with 1 hand now and i need to go with 2 hands. and i keep my head down... so gotta work on that!

i also realised how differently i react to things... i dont get angry or frustrated in situations i used to and i see things differently now and stuff. its good. its all good. life is good. God is good. i am good. praise the Lord... but u can keep praying for me!!!!!!